Reading back through these blogs I realize this will be the third time I’ve stated I’m ending the series. This time, I’m telling the truth. With 10 years on my Green Card, hopefully there is no more reason to discuss coming to America.
I want to focus this last blog on my learnings over the last 10-years since I first arrived in America. Particularly for those of you who plan or are doing the same thing in some capacity. Now, I could write a list of 100 things I’ve learnt during this time, but I’ll try to just focus on 10, and maybe we can discuss others in the comments.
Moving to America – For the majority of people I know, moving to America to become a student-athlete is one of the best things they have done. Me included. However, I wouldn’t put too much expectation when you first leave as most of what you thought you know, will turn out to be completely different. The important thing at the outset is to try and pick the right place to go. Of course, a lot of this will be dependent on scholarship, but I would advise if it all possible to try and visit the schools and talk to the players that are already there -- ideally the international ones. America is a huge place and a lot of schools can be very remote in comparison to Europe, so evaluate the type of person you are and the type of location that you would like to be at. If it turns out not to be the right fit, you always have the option to transfer.
The football – Depending on where you have played as a youth and where you end up will tint your perspective of football in America.
For me, the positives are that you will play in a truly global league with players from all over the world, you’ll get to train every day, hopefully in amazing facilities and with great coaches, and for those 4-years, your experience is as professional as it gets without being professional. The best football is played in the summer leagues and getting to know coaches and players outside your university is important.
The negatives are that I don’t believe the football will ever be a higher standard than what you could have played at home. On par maybe or worse. Moving into an environment where the oldest players in the team are ~22 you’re capped by the type of leadership and experienced players you’ll be around. Additionally, all coaches in America are not created equal, if you do not have a strong coach, your kind of stuck. Again, why summer leagues are so important due to the level of players and coaches.
Academics – If you are anything like me at 18, with no real idea of what you want to do with your life and don’t have a strong desire to continue academics, America might be for you. If I had stayed in England, there would have been a strong chance that I wouldn’t have gone to university. However, the American university system suited my learning style perfectly. Being a bang average C/B student in England, to never getting lower than a B and graduating with a 3.67/4 GPA. One reason was due to not having to select a major till your junior year, giving you two years to try out different classes and test the waters. Another, was likely the semester and classes system, in which you choose which classes you want to take each term and then complete the course within a 12/16 week time frame with multiple touchpoints to improve your grades. This meant unlike England’s system, you never have to revise over holiday breaks and have your entire grade dependent on a couple standardized exams. Instead, they were teacher led, meaning you could simply knock on their door and ask them what you needed to do to get a grade. I do want to caveat that American University is incredibly expensive and without the privilege of large scholarships, this approach of testing out the waters comes at a cost.
Know what you want to get out of it – Your time at university will likely be the most transformative years of your life, and it’s very easy while in the University bubble to go into auto-pilot mode of enjoying the experience. I would recommend to all, each year you should re-evaluate what you are trying to get out of your experience and adapt accordingly. For me, freshman year was all about football. But when the football stopped, I realized I wanted more. So, sophomore year I get more outside of football and but unfortunately nothing from football. Junior year, I’m stuck in the middle, partially on autopilot, partially thinking about life after university. Senior year, the realization that it’s about to be over and I need to get the most out of everything from a football and academic perspective before it’s gone. This is just to show that your desires will change, and that’s ok. But it’s your responsibility to get the most out of your experience and get what you want.
Use the resources available to you – If I were only giving one piece of advice to international students in America, it would be to use the resources the university has available to you. You’re paying a lot of money, be it cash, talent, or scholarships and in-turn the university should provide resources for you to succeed. Whether you want to be a footballer after graduation, work in finance, be a youtuber, whatever. Never again will you have the opportunity to have the best equipment readily available, teachers willing to give you advice and educate you, access to internships, forums and execs, dedicated training staff for your physical development, etc. All these things are readily available, and when you graduate and realize that camera you wanted to learn how to use is $5000, seeing a physical trainer is $100 a session, and getting access to that job you want is proving impossible, you’ll think hmmmm. Should have spent a little more time looking into what was on offer.
Friends are the family you choose and girlfriends quite literally – Yes, can confirm that British accents still work wonders in America. Jokes aside, any international that is still in America 5 years after graduating and thriving, the one thing they likely have in common is a network of people who act as their adopted family and look out for them. You’re going to find it very difficult to succeed without people willing to help and some local support. When that first Thanksgiving holiday rolls around and every American return home, you’ll quickly realize how far away from home you really are, so it’s important to begin building your family. For most, that will come in the form of a girlfriend or boyfriend. Unlike other relationships, there is no 50/50 split on holidays, and all significant family events you’ll be attending. You’re all in brother. Luckily for me, I quickly became one of the children in Alana’s family and consider Marty my American mum. Without their support, particularly after graduation, it would have been much harder for me to get a start and properly settle into American life. Same goes with friends, more importantly, friends after graduation as they’re the ones who you will actually begin to shape your life with.
Get comfortable making big decisions – From the moment you have decided to go to America, you have made a big decision. You’re changing what life is going to look like and leaving what you know behind. However, that initial decision is unfortunately the easiest one. The stakes are super low. As years start to pass, you start to build a life here and life back home starts to feel unfamiliar, the decisions of your future after university start to way heavy, and unfortunately for a lot of people, that decision is also paired with a relationship and contemplation of marriage at an early age. A super complex topic that shouldn’t be summarized in a paragraph. But as an initial step I would suggest doing the groundwork. That means evaluating what’s important to you in life. Planning what you would want life to look like in America or back home and comparing the two. Taking your relationship seriously. Trusting that at the end of the day whatever decision you make, it’s going to be ok in the end. From the minute I decided to transfer at the end of my freshman year I feel like I’ve been making big decisions every year of my life, and to be honest, I’ve got to a point where I’m comfortable with them and they excite me. As for relationship, Alana and I have been very honest with each other throughout the years and we’ve also always had a rough plan, and luckily more or less our plan has played out perfectly.
Work and do internships - This is more for those who aren’t betting everything on going pro. Yes, your options for work are limited. But even just doing the 20 hours during university, an internship, and taking what you can get in your OPT is going to open so many more doors than waiting to figure it all out at the end when it’s too late. I also want to call out here that being a coach in your sport is a full-on career path in the US without having to coach at the professional level. If that’s something that interests you, there is a lot of opportunities and profit to be made, in football specifically. Side note, it’s also a reason I think America will never develop as a Football nation, because it’s all about the profit from to young an age. Alas, the opportunities are there.
Have fun – Again, if you’re sold on the idea that you’re going to go pro, then focus in, make the sacrifices, and achieve your goal. But, if you’ve done your year evaluation and figured out that’s not going to be the path for you, HAVE FUN! My best memories during university is chatting shit in the cafeteria every day, going to training and winning our 5-asides, going out every Thursday night after finishing training at 11pm and then waking up for lifts on Friday morning, going to the lake, going to the beach, and exploring America. All these things are what made my experience so great and represent experiences I wouldn’t have had back home.
The American Dream is still a thing – If you only watch the news, it would be hard to imagine that America is somewhere worthwhile living. But, inside this wild west of a country, opportunity still feels available at your fingertips. I find it hard to imagine that I would be able to live the lifestyle I do if I were back home in England. Part of that comes from the vastness of America and the opportunity to live in fantastic places close to the mountains or beach. Part of that comes from work and business opportunities that from the lens of an immigrant somehow seem attainable.
Now this series is really over. Thanks for reading. Feel free to reach out and share.