Reality is a bitch. No matter how you frame it or try to shape it, every now and then, it’s going to take a shot. Now, it’s been nearly two months since I moved to London and being completely honest, it hasn’t been the easiest. Starting again, a new job, a new city, new faces, new routines…it’s been a lot to take in, but I’m not naive in saying I didn’t expect it, nor would I attribute it to one thing. The thing I’m trying to tackle now is switching on again and getting into a place where instead of reacting to everyday and looking for those quick pleasures, I start to start to stretch my mind again and think forward, think positively about the opportunities, and how I can make them mine. When I’m thinking in that way, I know I’m at best and that I’m getting closer to sustaining that Eazyliving lifestyle. So, in this blog, I’m going to tackle a few realities and see if I can kickstart this train again.
Making a living
Work oh work. The 9-5 ‘grind’. The low Mondays, high Fridays. The college dreams of cash, the mystery of its disappearance. The script of office conversation. All of this isn’t what we dreamed of as kids, but for many of us, it’s hard to see another way. I’m certainly a victim of this, but the reality is that I chose to do this. To give myself a bit of props, I didn’t choose this because I’m lazy, but because I think it can help. I know the experience and skills I can learn in these places will help, I know the money can allow me to be self-sustained, and that I might even meet some great people along the way. But I also know for myself and maybe others, we want to run before we can walk and when we’re performing menial tasks every junior must do, it’s hard to see past your self-importance and how you have to pay some dues before you receive something.
Funny thing is that I made Eazyliving as a place to share things and essentially show how you can get the most out of your everyday by doing something that sparks a light in you, and that’s something that I’ve definitely been missing. As the separation of your work life and ‘real’ life become more defined, the harder it is to make space for those sparks. Let’s take a look back on my first job as a copier salesman. It wasn’t a badge I wore with honour, but if we’re talking about an industry with some real hustlers and values, it’s there. There is absolutely nothing glamorous about the job, it’s a hustle every day to make some damn change. But because the only way to be successful is to almost live it, my company fortunately cared almost as much about the person as they did about the tasks because you’re going to struggle to get one without the other. The fruits of that lifestyle never won me over, but the values have stuck with me and if I can start to look at my work every day as contributing to the whole process of learning and success, I may just be able to start seeing some light.
Obviously, there are many factors that go into a successful work day, many of which that are out of your control. But the point I’m reminding myself of as I write this is that there are probably more factors in your control than you think that you can change to make a difference. Just don’t be a bystander.
Distance makes the heart hurt.. no I mean grow fonder
You all know the story. But, if you don’t, here’s the cliff notes version: Alana lives in America, I live in England, we are long distance, etc. I field the same questions every time and my answers typically remains the same. “She’s busy doing her thing, I’m busy doing mine, it just right for us at the moment.” *ding*“What is, how do you do it?” The reality is that it never gets any easier. Honestly, it probably gets progressively harder, however the way we manage it improves.
The over-arching question is always ‘what is the point?’. What is the point of me being in another country? This is always the hardest one for me to remember, as we move into our mid-twenties with so many people doing different things romantically and us being so far off from the norm, the one thing to remember is the understanding that this is no one else’s story and how we have to be is how we have to be. I always feel weird sharing all this shit, but really, I think it helps. If anything, at least I know I’m able to speak these words with some confidence.
Once an athlete, always an athlete?
I’m a person who struggles to rest,and when I do get a spare minute, 99% of the time that minute will be going towards some type of athletic pursuit. With me moving to London and everything being so different, the one thing I know that never changes is the feeling of exercise. But am I taking it too far? With the new job, I now get the pleasure of riding 18 miles a day for my commute, and still fit in all the football, running, gyming and a little swimming if I can. Meaning that when I get to the end of the week, my body usually feels like it’s been through a pre-season week in the 40 degree Carolina sun. Toast.
If we put the fact that I’m tired behind, I’m starting to see how much my emotions are connected to me being active. If I’m not able to perform in these sports due to an injury, my mood takes a way bigger hit than it ever has before. I understand the workload is more, and quite frankly, it’s nearly impossible that I will ever feel great with all that I do and no training room to fix me up. The weight of importance I’ve put on personal success in athletics has grown past football. Football is and will always be my number one, but I definitely fell out of love with it in America, probably due to a combination of University life and the coach. Now, reflecting over my ‘career’, I feel like I never really got what I felt I deserved in the sport. But that’s football, not everything’s fair, not everyone is going to get a chance, and my dwindling passion probably put the nail in the coffin. But everything happens for a reason and I think I’ve accepted that and probably transferred that energy into the running and tri disciplines I find myself taking part in now.
I don’t think the ego sports gives you growing up ever disappears and that ego of wanting to be the best is what drives many to becoming it. Again, the reality is that now I’m mostly competing against myself, so the majority of my wins will never be seen but there is something darkly romantic about that. Writing this section, I was hoping I may figure out a way to approach all of this differently. Figuring maybe I’ll decide it’s worth putting all my energy in one sport. It hasn’t happened, and I will probably continue to kill myself on a weekly basis while riding the highs and lows of injuries. What can you do? Open to all suggestions here..
Oh, so you’re living that London life now?
Nahhh. Not really. I’m still trying to figure out what London means for me. While I may know a few people down here and have some distractions to tick off the days, I can’t avoid the fact that when I moved down here, I moved down here alone. It’s a blank canvas to start drawing all over and I imagine like many others, I’ve probably started drawing what everyone else does. Trying to create a picture of what seems like an interesting London life, to make myself think I’m doing the right things.
The reality is that I will never fully enjoy London till I have my community. Community/people is what makes everything. Yes, London is cool with many things to do, but without the right community to share and grow with, it will never get there. When I look back to my time in Charlotte, I don’t reminisce about locations. I reminisce about the people who made it what it was and fed into all different aspects of my life. That took over four years to reach a really comfortable lifestyle there, so when I look at London, I have no expectations for it to all become amazing in an instance. But, you can bet that I’m going to try to speed this process up cause I don’t have that time anymore, so get yourself down to Eazy Run Club folks.
Wow, my blogs are really getting longer, and more and more of a self-assessment exercise. This has taken me about 15 attempts to write over a month or so, so I’m actually super pleased I managed to get some thoughts out in one place again. Hopefully I’ll steer myself back in the direction of Eazyliving. As always, I hope you enjoyed reading it, any and all feedback is always welcome, cheers.
- Ryan