Starting again

So, it was only a month ago I wrote a blog about moving back in and the trials and tribulations that went along with it. I mentioned while not forever, I was enjoying my time back in Notts. Well, a month on and I’m moving back out.

In this blog, I want to talk about opportunities and starting again, something that I feel I have done more than most my age. Socially, starting again can be seen as daunting, but I truly think it’s something that should be looked at with excitement rather than fear.

The first time I chose to ‘start again’ was deciding to go to a different sixth form college to all my friends. (To clarify for US readers, sixth form is your schooling years between 16-18 years old. A common step taken to then progress to university.) While my high school had a well-regarded sixth form, the prospect of sitting in the same place for another two years was of no interest to me.

Of course, it wasn’t an easy decision leaving all my friends that I grew up with to go to another school on the other side of town where I knew no one. But for the first time having complete choice over where I wanted to go, I wasn’t going to be a bystander and go somewhere because it was comfortable. 

With my old school starting a few days earlier and the prospect of going to a new school and not knowing anyone, I felt completely out of my depth. It was like I was missing out on everything, and after my first day at college I came home wailing at mum, asking if there’s any way I could possibly change my mind now. I laugh about it now, and after that day, I calmed down and those next two years turned out to be huge for me. I made some great friends there, I broke my bubble of only knowing one part of Nottingham and with that age being huge for development, it definitely added to my self-confidence.

The next step was university. Something I wasn’t completely set on, but when the opportunity came along to go to America and play football everyday, I couldn’t turn it down. (read full story here) With one experience of change already in my locker, this next move being even bigger only made my excitement grow, and before you knew it, I was on a plane to the middle of nowhere in Tennessee. While not completely sold on the location, my Dad said “if it doesn’t work out, you can just move” and that was enough to reassure me.

A year later I did move. For football and friends, Tennessee was great but the lifestyle wasn’t for me (read full story here). Now with two experiences of starting in a new place under my belt, when the opportunity came to transfer to Charlotte, I was off. Four years later with a degree in the back pocket, a year’s work experience, life-long friends, and a beautiful girlfriend on my arm, it was one of the best decisions I’ve made to date. 

Then came moving home, which I explain in detail in my last blog (read here). But, the cliff notes are that moving back and starting again was the right decision for me and so the next chapter had begun. Within three days of being back in England, I had a job. Day one, search. Day two, interview. Day three, offer. I definitely wasn’t completely sold on the job. But, it was in the right industry, the people seemed nice, and it looked like it had opportunities to learn. So, with my America experience of jumping in, I was back at work a few weeks later. 

We’re now back to the present, and almost identical to my America experience (although a much shorter timeline), I’m moving onto a new city with a better opportunity and I’m more excited than ever.  That initial fear of changing schools and crying on my first day has turned into a string of life changing decisions with bigger and better opportunities around each corner.

Firstly, on starting again. What I’ve learned is that there are great people wherever you go, and you never know what amazing person you may meet by exploring a new place. Your friends aren’t going anywhere, while you may not be physically close, in today’s world, you’re never further than a click away. They’re eventually going to do their own thing anyway and the ones that keep in contact now and then will likely be your friends for life. The idea that your good friends have to be the ones you’ve known the longest should evolve. They certainly can be, but you can know someone for one year and develop a friendship just as strong, although you don’t have the history. 

The ability to start again without fear, if nothing else, has done the most for my self-confidence and knowing who I am. I know that I can rely solely on myself and that I can meet people anywhere in the world that will interact with me, help me, and become new friends. It’s definitely the main reason I felt confident enough to go off travelling on my own.

Secondly, opportunity. I’ve underplayed opportunity in this blog saying that it just popped up and I was off. I obviously had to do numerous things to gain the opportunity and put myself in a place where it was possible for me to move on. But, the point is after all the initial thought and work on each idea of a making a change, I took the opportunity and ran with it. It’s not always going to work out perfect, as you’ve seen in my first move to America and first job back home. But, these opportunities were not a waste and instead acted as building blocks to get me to the place closer to where I want to be.

Anyway, I guess what I’m trying to say is I’m off to London for a new job. I’m super excited about it, and if you’re thinking of making a change that feels a bit scary, jump in and go for it. The worst that can happen is that you have to start over again. At least it makes for a good story.

-       Ryan