Back again. Writing a year in review continues to grow in importance in my life, but also increases in difficulty as the complexities of life increase, yet my writing skills remain the same. This year in a paragraph looks something like this:
Ski, MRI, Salsa Classes, Ski, New York, Ski, Podcast, Georgia, Podcast, Alana’s Pregnant, Podcast, Costa Rica, Podcast, Sick, North Carolina, MRI, Distraction, Podcast, We’re having a boy, Eazy Open, Passed On For Promotion, Distraction, Podcast, Bonus, Podcast, Golf, San Diego, Spain, England, Turned 29, Golf, Italy, Sick, Bought A House, Golf, MRI, England, Euros, Camping, Distraction, Pain, Depression, Pain, Cancelled Surgery, Moved to NC, Pain, Depression, New York, Beach, MRI, Pain, Baby is born!, Hospital, Hospital, Family, Passed On For Promotion, House, House, House, Stressed, Tired.
I mean really, that’s the most detailed presentation of a year I’ve given to date. But maybe we should explore some of these words a little deeper and see what’s going on.
Physical and Mental
Physically and mentally, I have been lost. As I mentioned previously, the two are connected for me, but this year unfortunately only built on the struggles of last year. Having finally figured out how insurance works in this country, I took full advantage. Meaning 4 MRIs, 12 X-rays, 20+ doctor visits, rehab all year and a whole lot of other shit to try and figure out what’s going on with my body. Conclusion -- who knows. The one thing I do know is that my body is trying to send me some sort of message about the way I’m living, I just haven’t deciphered it yet.
Living with chronic pain is a beast I wish upon no one. Defined as 3 months without resolve of an injury, I’m going on a year plus with multiple of these pains. Without a doubt it has changed who I am and how I look at life. Not all for bad I must say, but I still believe I’m right in the middle of truly understanding it and learning it’s takeaway.
At the crux of my angst is that I am in love with my body, but my body doesn’t love me. What a weird thing to say. But I love what my body has allowed me to do most of my life, to play sports, to move, to sweat, to dance, to run, to lift, to explore, to adventure, to travel, to relax, to reflect, to find perspective. However, now that doing all these things causes me pain, lasting days and months, I’m having to discover new avenues to replace these feelings.
The mental side of it has been exhausting. Pain sends signals to your brain letting you know something is not right, and when pain persists, so do the signals and subsequent thoughts. Those thoughts are what will drive you insane. Thoughts of no hope, never getting better, constantly being distracted and not being able to enjoy what’s in front of you, it just steals a portion of each moment, every day. Then for me what happens is that I get scared. Scared of losing who I am and the passion and curiosity I bring to life. Scared of what it’s doing to those around me.
It's been a journey to say the least. A journey that I’m still very much in the middle of. But I am learning. I’ve learnt the power of meditation and breathe. I’m actively learning slower productivity and why pushing harder is counter intuitive in my case. I’ve learnt how to rehab/train better, to progressively load and schedule. I’m becoming an expert in documenting and tracking to find trends. I’m on a path to becoming a ‘woo woo’ master by 2030 and that excites me.
So, you’ve probably read this section and thought Jesus Christ, what’s wrong with this kid. I genuinely don’t know. But I enjoy sharing my experiences, so there it is as I see it.
Work
I’m keeping this section short this year, so I’ll write the next paragraph as a corporate robot.
This year was a masterclass in perseverance. Despite leaning in to maximize deliverables and exceed stakeholder expectations, opportunities for upward mobility did not materialize as anticipated, leaving growth trajectories temporarily plateaued. However, the recognition of our efforts came in the form of a discretionary reward, a testament to the value we’ve driven. While the role has provided a strong foundation to consistently deliver impactful results, I’m excited to embrace new challenges and opportunities within this position in 2025, focusing on growth, innovation, and driving even greater value.
The deadline for writing a year in review was 12/31/24. As we are now past due, please consider all thoughts I’ve shared as void.
Family Life
This year we decided to do all the big life things, starting with a decision to move back to North Carolina from Colorado. Alana and I, we’re rough plan people. Meaning we have a general idea of what and when we want to do something, but it’s never written down per se. Our rough plan for CO was to move out there for 3 years and then when it’s time to start a family, move back to NC. Well, we sped up that timeline a little. After a year and half in CO we were both feeling as if we had gotten what we wanted out of this phase and that it was time to move on.
Pregnancy
First came baby making. Too much info. OK. Moving on. Then we found out Alana was pregnant! A surreal feeling that honestly I didn’t know how to process. Yes, it’s incredible and feels completely right, but also, I have absolutely no idea what this truly means and how it’s going to change our lives. So, I removed all my expectations to let what will be, be. My general emotions throughout the pregnancy were a mixture of excitement, worrying about Alana’s health, and worrying about Baby’s health. An easy bag compared to what Alana had to deal with…
I’ve been approved to say, Alana did not enjoy being pregnant. The first trimester Alana was just constantly sick, and not like morning sickness. More like, all day, everyday sickness. I have to admit that I couldn’t comprehend what I was witnessing at times. When I’m saying sick all the time for 3 months, I’m not exaggerating. It was wild.
Thankfully, when the second trimester rolled round the sickness subsided and Alana started to feel somewhat normal again. But then, BOOM, Gestational Diabetes. With no risk factors, this came as a big shock to us and took away the one thing Alana was enjoying during the pregnancy, delicious food. Instead, it was replaced with glucose monitoring 4x a day and strictly planning and prepping a diet to appease the ‘betes’. Thankfully, Alana is a professional when it comes to dealing with challenges and managed with minimal issues.
Buying a house
So, baby’s coming. We better get on with figuring out where we want to live. We knew we wanted to live back in the Triangle (Raleigh, Durham, Chapel Hill) but hadn’t landed on where exactly. Vet school was in Raleigh so we had a pretty good idea of what life would look like there, but we had also always been interested in Durham. Mainly for it’s more diverse community, smaller town size, and affordability. However, house hunting through Zillow while living in another state is less than ideal.
I personally wasn’t sold on the need to buy a house straight away and especially in this market. I felt maybe we can rent for a year and figure it out. But Alana with a baby in belly and 2 large dogs in the background wasn’t playing games. “We need our home”, and she was right. Thankfully we had an amazing realtor in the Triangle who guided us throughout the process, and after a location scouting trip turned home offer trip, we were locked in.
A couple months later we flew back out to close on the house and just like that we are now homeowners. Where the pregnancy feeling was excitement and wonder, this was more, teeny bit of excitement, and more worry and angst. My tolerance for large purchases is low and buying a house is the largest of them all so it took me some time to come to terms with it, but if the spreadsheet says it works, it works.
After 4 months living here, I love it. I love the house, the neighborhood, the neighbors and Durham. Being back in NC has felt so good. It’s Alana’s home and my American home without a doubt. Simply, it’s our home. Colorado was a great adventure and gave me yet another perspective on ways of living, but now with a family, this is where we’re supposed to be.
Becoming a Dad
‘Becoming a Dad’ that’s still feels wild for me to just write. When people say it’s one of those things you have to experience to fully understand, now I’m getting it. Before baby, people are telling me all the things, but honestly, it’s just in one and out the other, as I think I know what you mean, but I’m not really relating.
And then you stop sleeping, and you’re like ‘oh’. Then you realize free time throughout the day is a myth, and you’re like ‘ohh’. Then you realize this baby poops all day, and you’re like ‘ohhh’. Then you realize this baby is my baby, and this baby is a smiling baby, and this baby is the best baby, and you’re like ‘oooooohhhhhhhh’.
We’re just about hitting 3 months and every day there is something new to be amazed by. I’m honestly obsessed with this tiny little bean cake. I could just stare at him all day. It’s just like looking at a miracle every time, right there, in front of your face.
I recognize that I’m at the start of a lifelong journey of being a dad. One that I’ve always wanted and so thankful that it’s here. Again, I’m not putting any big expectations on it, I’m just excited to watch this boy grow and be the best dad I can be.
Eazyliving
7 years since I created Eazyliving. At the start, it was simply an avenue to be creative and encourage others to do the same. 7 years later and I guess it’s still the same. I’ve never really been able to put my finger on what my core mission is or found a medium that I’m in love with. That would also explain my struggle in finding a career path that I’m passionate about. None the less, it has given me confidence to be creative and continue to explore new things, meet new people, share ideas and much more.
This year I had a little resurgence, creating a podcast every Monday for the first half of the year. Talking to people who are passionate about what they do and learning their tricks of the trade. It was difficult to do and required me to push myself in a non-physical way which I was grateful for, but I learned so much from all the impressive guests and identified what I love about the process and where I need to improve.
The last few months, however, I’ve been thinking it may be time to retire Eazyliving. The idea that community is the center of everything, following and exploring your passions, while handling the reality of daily life is still true. But I think it’s time to explore a new creative avenue and closing this chapter I think will allow me to do that.
End
Well, there we have it. Another year in the books. I said Alana and I are rough planners, but our plans have never actually gotten beyond this point so who knows what’s next. I’m really hoping for a lot more laughter, excitement, and wonder. All things I’m sure my mini me is going to be providing. But boy, I really do hope 2025 is a better year for me mentally.
I’ve stopped planning for the year ahead until this review is written, so now I’ll start to think of what’s next. My gut tells me I won’t be doing goals next year but more so intentions. I’ve found goals to be natural for me, filling every waking moment with to-do lists and objectives to ensure I’m moving forward and constantly setting new ones once they are complete. Maybe my goals just aren’t big enough or I’m not doing them right. It’s kind of the curse of the type A personality, the need to constantly do, compete, and achieve, and the realization that you’re not actually doing anything hard because that is your natural state of being. Yet, you think you’re progressing because society rewards type A traits… Told you I’m on a journey to becoming a ‘woo woo’ master.
Thanks for reading. I write this because I find it deeply therapeutic, and I share it because I’m a sharer and enjoy doing so, and hope that you feel comfortable to share something with me in the future.
Keep it EAZY.
Ryan